A little of this, a little of that...

This is going to be kind of all over the place - no real direction with this post. Just some things I've learned or become aware of or thought about in the past few days. :o)

1. Our theme verse for camp during the summer of 2006 was Hebrews 12:2: 'Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.'

To be completely honest, at camp I was so busy trying to remember the motions we created for the verse that I spent very little time thinking about what the verse meant. After I went home, I didn't really think about the verse anymore, period.

About a week ago, this verse came to my attention. I read it, but I still didn't get anything from it or really understand it. However, the line 'who for the joy set before him endured the cross' stuck in my mind. My brain understood what it was saying, but my heart didn't get it. My head said, 'He was able to endure death because He knew He would defeat it and through that, save the world.' But my heart just didn't understand the concept.

I don't think any of us will truly understand Jesus' willingness to sacrifice everything on our behalf, but this past week God really opened up my heart to what it means to lay something aside for the sake of joy. For the sake of something better.

This is a terrible comparison, but He really used to it to speak to me. This past Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. I spent some time thinking and praying about what I needed to give up this year, but I just couldn't hone in on anything. But a couple of weeks ago I was really convicted over how much I complain about things and I knew that that was what I was going to work on this year during Lent.

So far it has been going pretty good. I have caught myself starting to complain a few times and at first, I just shut my mouth and quit talking. Then I started steering the conversation in a different direction. Now I've moved towards putting a positive spin on whatever I was going to complain about. Doing this has blessed me so much! Every time (not just most of the time) I've chosen to stay positive in a situation, I have genuinely had a complete change in attitude to where I am grateful for that situation. Knowing myself the way that I do, that is no small feat.

Now, I'm not saying that my giving up complaining (something I shouldn't be doing anyway) is in any way comparable to Christ's sacrifice, but God has used this to help me understand, in a small way, what spurred Him on to complete the task He was sent here to do. I don't know how the Spirit connected the two together so that I would get it, all I know is that He has given me another way to look at Calvary, and that is enough for me.

I remember at my first winter retreat 3 years ago that Fletch told us during communion to ask the Lord to show us the Cross in a new way and with new understanding. I practice this on a regular basis and I love it when He delivers. Sometimes my heart is hardened to what He has to say or I'm just not in the right place to catch a new perspective, but when I'm there and He gives me another glimpse...wow! And that's what He's done for me again this past week - and we're not even 7 days into Lent yet!

Like I said - I don't know how my experience taught me that lesson, but I sure am glad that it did. :o)

2. This past weekend I finished reading 'The Beloved Disciple' by Beth Moore. This book has blessed me so much and I highly recommend that everyone read it.

I have a hard time with Christian non-fiction sometimes. Many, many authors have given me new insight into the faith that I don't think I would have gotten otherwise. But. Many times, for me anyway, I get sucked into what they have to say and forget that they are trying to point me to God. Beth Moore's writing is a breath of fresh air as far as that is concerned. Her passion for Scripture and her desire that everyone come to an intimate relationship with Jesus are contagious! It was so refreshing to read a book that inspired me to dig deeper into the Word. When I would put her book down I would immediately search for my Bible. It's like sitting with a good friend who calls you up because they just learned the most exciting thing in their quiet time that morning and you can't help but rejoice with them and then go off and read it for yourself. :o)

The whole point of my Beth Moore gush fest is that I discovered something about myself towards the end of the book that I feel is very important.

Since the book is about John, Jesus' disciple, Beth goes through each of his books, the last being, of course, the book of Revelation. I will admit it - I get so flippin' excited when it comes to anything having to do with the end of times. I LOVE thinking about when Jesus comes back - it really gets me going. So I'm already excited about this portion of the book, but she's really excited too and so I'm reading and I can hardly sit still in my chair. It's so awesome. :o)

Anyway, she starts in on the wedding supper of the Lamb and I'm about falling over with excitement and anticipation. And right there in the middle of work (because that's the only time I really get to read :P ), I get blessed. I'm overwhelmed with the intense and absolutely huge love that Jesus has for not only me, but for the church. Such a clarity washed over me that all I could really do was go, 'Huh.'

Our salvation is a personal decision, but the bride of Christ is the whole church. I think that often times we have a very narrow view on our growth as followers of Christ (I know I do!). Very intrinsic, being so concerned with where we are on our walk that we don't look at the church around us and observe where we are as a whole. And not just our local church family either. How is the ENTIRE church doing? Are we preparing ourselves properly for the wedding supper? I have never felt such an overwhelming burden for the church as I did this weekend, and it continues today. I encourage all of you to pray hard for the church - for its growth and for its preparation for a day that is soon coming.

3. And last! I wasn't really expecting to write this much, but that's okay. :o)

Kind of going along with my last bit, I have also felt a very heavy burden for the lost this week. At the end of choir practice on Sunday we spent some time in prayer over the production and the message we are presenting. We also prayed for those who are coming to see the show, that the Lord would work in their hearts.

During our prayer time a line from one of the songs in the show kept running through my head (well, it's also in Scripture too :P ).

'One day every knee shall bow, one day every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.'

The arrangement of this song that we sing is rather upbeat and, I believe, meant to be joyous. This is my 4th time doing this production and every time I sing this song I get so excited. I get excited thinking about, once again, Jesus coming back and everyone acknowledging his Lordship and sovereignty.

But as we were praying this past Sunday, that line hit me anew and it was incredibly unpleasant. All I could think was that for so many people on that day, they may bow down and they may confess what many of us know to be true, but it will be too late for them.

Wow.

My heart is so heavy with that thought. That a song that is so joyful could be so devastating to anyone who has put off making that eternal decision. I truly do not have words for the sorrow that it brings to the very depths of me. So I also encourage you to pray hard, hard, hard for a lost world. I can't even bear to think of a single person spending eternity in separation from God.

"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."

~Revelation 4:11