I apologize for the regrettable, but necessary lack of posting since, oh, August. For anyone who still happens upon this little corner of the internet that I call my own, hello. :o)
I'm afraid I haven't got a ton to say, but I wanted to dust off the page and update it a little bit and bring it into the new year.
(And as the title says - there will be no song in this post! Am I turning over a new blogging leaf? Who knows...I kind of hope not though :P )
The past year of my life has been an incredible mix of ups and downs, brokenness and healing. The constant through it all has been the Lord and His faithfulness to me. I can look back on all that has transpired and see His hand guiding me all the way, drawing me ever closer to Him. In fact, there were several events this past year that I truly believe if they had not happened, I wouldn't have been able to move closer to Him. Some were painful, but when the end result is intimacy with Christ, it's okay.
I had had the gnawing feeling early last year that if some of my past wasn't resolved soon, I would arrive at a bit of a standstill with the Lord. I certainly didn't want that, but I didn't know how to even begin unpacking that baggage. I remember spending much of the first few months of the year pleading with the Lord to show me what to do. It really felt like He was being silent, but I continued to ask. I spent time in the Word trying to glean some new wisdom and direction, yet both were elusive. I began to feel the Spirit impress on me that I needed to wait, just a bit longer. That wasn't really to my liking as I still couldn't see how this was all going to work out, but not really having any other choice, I waited.
About mid-year, the Lord moved in a way that I couldn't have anticipated and yet, per His usual way of doing things, it was the best possible way. I saw my God step in for me and guide me, undeniably, to a place of healing and forgiveness. I can't even describe to you what that moment was like. All my time spent pleading and praying and digging into the Word was my way of trying to make something happen. I thought if I prayed and read enough, God would have to listen and respond. It amazes me that I still think this way from time to time!
What He truly desired of me was to seek Him, not just the answer I was looking for. I had spent so much time and energy focused on the issue at hand and not the Lord Himself, that I had lost sight of abiding in Him and waiting on His timing.
It can be easy to forget that we aren't the only ones who hurt when we go through difficulties - God is right there with us, His heart breaking with ours. He desires our healing as much as, if not more than, we do.
My small group has been studying the book of Zechariah and last week we happened upon a verse that has helped me a lot over the years and as I read it now, I find peace again.
"Thus says the LORD of hosts, 'If it is too difficult in the sight of the remnant of this people in those days, will it also be too difficult in My sight?' declares the LORD of hosts." ~Zechariah 8:6
The Israelites were returning to the Promised Land from exile in Babylon. They were fewer in number and had a massive rebuilding project ahead of them. What seemed impossible to them is not impossible with the Lord. He doesn't bring us to the place He promised us and then leave us to figure out everything from there. He brings us to Himself and restores us and stays faithful to His promises.
Yes, it's been a difficult year, but where I stand now has made it worth the journey.
