Thirsty

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. ~Hebrews 12:1-3

I spent some time reading over this piece of Scripture today. I wasn't intending to read this passage or to even write anything, but so much for intentions, eh?

I was actually reading over some of my older blog entries. It's kind of fun to go back and read and reflect on what has gone on in my life and to remember the ways that God has shown Himself to me. I came across Hebrews 12:1 in one of my notes and it really struck a chord with me. I looked up the passage and ended up reading the first few verses several times.

As I was reading I was reminded of the sermon at church today. I don't know if I was reminded so much as convicted. Pastor asked us at the end of the service to leave something behind before we left. Something we needed to let go of permanently. I struggled to come up with something. So I just left. As I read the passage above I felt that all too familiar conviction flood through me.

Who am I to think I haven't got anything left to hand over to the Lord? I'm still a work in progress. I knew that I didn't really want to think about it, much less part with whatever it was, so I shrugged it off. Ah well, praise God that He doesn't just let us continue on as we are!

Anyway, back to whatever the point is I'm trying to make. I have been incredibly distracted lately. These verses remind me that I have to get rid of anything that is coming between me and the Lord. That is what I should have left behind today. My thirst for Christ seems diminished lately and I know it's because I've been replacing my regular time with Him with other things. Things that don't satisfy. I wish I could say I was filling my time with awesome things, but really, it's dumb stuff like reading a book instead of my Bible or watching a movie instead of spending quiet time in the presence of my God. It's funny, but you would think I'd have learned by now that substitutions just don't cut it. Maybe that's all a part of the journey...wish it could be a lot smoother instead of all these bumps though. Maybe the stumbles will come fewer and farther between.

This morning we sang the song 'I Will Never Be The Same Again' and one of the other singers said during practice, 'Thank goodness I will never be the same!' I echoed the sentiment, but it really got me to thinking. It can be easy to feel like we've never changed when we're stuck in a rut spiritually, but I think it's healthy to spend some time, every once in awhile, thinking about where you might be without the Lord. When I put it in that perspective, I can see His hand so clearly. So yes, thank goodness I will never be the same!

I think the moral of today's story is that I have some tidying up to do; I've been pretty parched the past few weeks! I am excited that my eyes and heart have been opened and so grateful for a Savior that gently moves me back into His arms.

Pastor shared part of Psalm 63 during church today. I love the Psalms. They convey such a depth of passion that few of the other books of the Bible can. I'll just end with this passage. This is the cry and desire of my heart.

God, You are my God; I eagerly seek You.
I thirst for You;
my body faints for You
in a land that is dry, desolate, and without water.
So I gaze on You in the sanctuary
to see Your strength and Your glory.

My lips will glorify You
because Your faithful love is better than life.

So I will praise You as long as I live;
at Your name, I will lift up my hands. ~Psalm 63:1-4