Take my life from me. What can I do apart from You? Oh God, take my life...take my hopes, my dreams, my desires, my fears, my doubts...take it all and use it for Your glory.
"Use me, break me, waste me on You, Lord
Ruin me, take me, waste me on You
For to die is to live...
To starve is to feast
And less of me is more of Jesus
Lord, I want it all
Lord, I want it all
If I lose my life
I gain everything
And at the cross
Away with all death's sting
Lord, I want it all
Lord, I want it all
There is power in the blood
There is victory in Jesus
Come in power, wash me clean
Overwhelm me with Your presence
There is power in the blood
There is victory in Jesus
Help me glory in the cross
Help me find my gain in loss"
~ "I Want it All" by Shane and Shane
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Anybody have some closet space?
Katie, I think it's time we put our words into action and find ourselves a cozy closet to live in so we can see the world.
If we found a nice walk-in closet we could share it and split the rent!
If we found a nice walk-in closet we could share it and split the rent!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
My Cup Runneth Over
You guide me through the dark
You calm my fearful heart
I will rest in You
You give me perfect peace
You fill my deepest need
I will rest in You
God, shining like the sun
Let Your kingdom come
I want to be with You in Your presence
I'm here to give You praise
You take my breath away
And now I'm here with You in Your presence
Your kindness draws me in
Now I'm with You once again
I will rest in You
Oh God who reigns on high
To You alone I cry
I will rest in You
You are shining, You are shining
Your light surrounds me, Your light has found me
~ "Shining" by Phil Wickham
You calm my fearful heart
I will rest in You
You give me perfect peace
You fill my deepest need
I will rest in You
God, shining like the sun
Let Your kingdom come
I want to be with You in Your presence
I'm here to give You praise
You take my breath away
And now I'm here with You in Your presence
Your kindness draws me in
Now I'm with You once again
I will rest in You
Oh God who reigns on high
To You alone I cry
I will rest in You
You are shining, You are shining
Your light surrounds me, Your light has found me
~ "Shining" by Phil Wickham
Friday, January 9, 2009
There are no words
I have been needing to bring my blog into 2009 and I was hoping that after winter retreat with the teens I'd have the perfect opportunity, seeing as such trips are chock full of spiritually enlightening moments.
Alas.
AMAZING things happened at White Pass this year, many of which took place in my own heart, but I cannot seem to find a way to describe it. And maybe I'm not supposed to be able to, but oh how I wish I could!
All I know is that the Lord Jesus Christ has gripped my life with an unrelenting strength and for the first time ever, I'm not fighting it. Something happened and now I can wholly surrender myself to His care and guidance, where before I was unbalanced with my dedication. It's almost like a switch was flipped while I was away. God bopped me a good one on the side of the head and said, "Duh!"
I can't put my finger on that one, "Aha!" moment, but I'm glad that it happened. It's quite a relief to just give oneself over entirely to the Savior. Much better than picking and choosing which things to bring to the table. And now I have nothing but joy. I feel like I've reached that point in my faith where, yes, I still need the sacrifice of Christ to redeem me of the sins I have committed and the sins that will inevitably meet me along life's path, but I can move into the realm of abiding in Christ. To finally accept the Gift in its fullness and begin living outwardly. I'm done dwelling on my shortcomings and am ready to move on to that which Christ has called me - a life of serving and ministering to others in every area of my life. To live out what has been done for me so that others might live with clarity as well.
I think, for me, there are two key things that happened on the trip that triggered this moment of understanding and acceptance.
The first was on the first night of the retreat. Pastor Scott asked what we were willing to leave behind, to turn away from, in order to pursue God. Now, this is something that I've been hearing from God over the past few months. He's been prodding me about what I need to give up in order to seek Him out. What are those things that distract me from Him? What is getting in the way of truly finding God and hearing out His will? It seemed that at retreat there was such a finality in that message. As if what had started out as a good suggestion from a friend was now transforming into a command from a loving Master. The time to choose had now come. I am happy to say that since coming home I've been proactive about weeding out the distractions from my life. I have a long way to go, definitely, but I'll get there.
The second thing to happen that has really instigated this change in my life happened on the last night of the retreat.
I need to preface this with something I find almost amusing considering my life experience. Between all the youth groups, Bible studies and churches I've belonged to and all of the worship services and prayer stations I've been to in my life, I have never knelt down before a cross to pray.
That said, we had prayer stations set up for the last night's service and I was outside in the snow (seriously...so beautiful) to help with the flow of traffic down to the cross that was set up and to be available for prayer. I knew that at some point I wanted to go down to the cross and pray for a bit, but I was content with waiting.
As the evening went on and people came in and out I still didn't feel a need to head down yet. Koby and I spent a little time talking about how we were past the point of crying during things like this and that we were simply too happy to have tears. I'm pretty sure he mentioned "What About Bob."
As the crowd thinned and less and less people were coming out, I felt like it was time. I made my way down the silent path and waited at the end for someone else who was in prayer. I turned around and simply took in the sight around me. Quiet as can be, all sounds muffled by the thick blanket of snow on the ground, a clear sky, void of stars, and tall pine trees poking high into the night. Beautiful, glorious, magnificent...there are many words that people use to try and convey the majesty of a sight like that...but they all fall short. To simply be in creation...to simply melt into all that God has created...there are no words for it. It was refreshing.
As I took my place in front of the cross, it came into my mind then that I had never knelt in front of one before. I gazed at the cross for a moment, illuminated by glow sticks (quite the sight, let me tell you), and it just washed over me. A thousand emotions and thoughts. How terrifically unworthy I am of what Christ did, but how helpless I am to deny such a love. I really think that is what changed me so thoroughly. I had always had this niggling thought in the back of my head - I don't deserve what He did so I can't really accept it. But it just hit me that night that I can't change what has already been done. No amount of self-pity, self-loathing or whatever, will change the fact that it is done. It's completed...it's finished...and the only thing left for me to do is accept it. For myself.
This is how it feels to be free. :o)
Alas.
AMAZING things happened at White Pass this year, many of which took place in my own heart, but I cannot seem to find a way to describe it. And maybe I'm not supposed to be able to, but oh how I wish I could!
All I know is that the Lord Jesus Christ has gripped my life with an unrelenting strength and for the first time ever, I'm not fighting it. Something happened and now I can wholly surrender myself to His care and guidance, where before I was unbalanced with my dedication. It's almost like a switch was flipped while I was away. God bopped me a good one on the side of the head and said, "Duh!"
I can't put my finger on that one, "Aha!" moment, but I'm glad that it happened. It's quite a relief to just give oneself over entirely to the Savior. Much better than picking and choosing which things to bring to the table. And now I have nothing but joy. I feel like I've reached that point in my faith where, yes, I still need the sacrifice of Christ to redeem me of the sins I have committed and the sins that will inevitably meet me along life's path, but I can move into the realm of abiding in Christ. To finally accept the Gift in its fullness and begin living outwardly. I'm done dwelling on my shortcomings and am ready to move on to that which Christ has called me - a life of serving and ministering to others in every area of my life. To live out what has been done for me so that others might live with clarity as well.
I think, for me, there are two key things that happened on the trip that triggered this moment of understanding and acceptance.
The first was on the first night of the retreat. Pastor Scott asked what we were willing to leave behind, to turn away from, in order to pursue God. Now, this is something that I've been hearing from God over the past few months. He's been prodding me about what I need to give up in order to seek Him out. What are those things that distract me from Him? What is getting in the way of truly finding God and hearing out His will? It seemed that at retreat there was such a finality in that message. As if what had started out as a good suggestion from a friend was now transforming into a command from a loving Master. The time to choose had now come. I am happy to say that since coming home I've been proactive about weeding out the distractions from my life. I have a long way to go, definitely, but I'll get there.
The second thing to happen that has really instigated this change in my life happened on the last night of the retreat.
I need to preface this with something I find almost amusing considering my life experience. Between all the youth groups, Bible studies and churches I've belonged to and all of the worship services and prayer stations I've been to in my life, I have never knelt down before a cross to pray.
That said, we had prayer stations set up for the last night's service and I was outside in the snow (seriously...so beautiful) to help with the flow of traffic down to the cross that was set up and to be available for prayer. I knew that at some point I wanted to go down to the cross and pray for a bit, but I was content with waiting.
As the evening went on and people came in and out I still didn't feel a need to head down yet. Koby and I spent a little time talking about how we were past the point of crying during things like this and that we were simply too happy to have tears. I'm pretty sure he mentioned "What About Bob."
As the crowd thinned and less and less people were coming out, I felt like it was time. I made my way down the silent path and waited at the end for someone else who was in prayer. I turned around and simply took in the sight around me. Quiet as can be, all sounds muffled by the thick blanket of snow on the ground, a clear sky, void of stars, and tall pine trees poking high into the night. Beautiful, glorious, magnificent...there are many words that people use to try and convey the majesty of a sight like that...but they all fall short. To simply be in creation...to simply melt into all that God has created...there are no words for it. It was refreshing.
As I took my place in front of the cross, it came into my mind then that I had never knelt in front of one before. I gazed at the cross for a moment, illuminated by glow sticks (quite the sight, let me tell you), and it just washed over me. A thousand emotions and thoughts. How terrifically unworthy I am of what Christ did, but how helpless I am to deny such a love. I really think that is what changed me so thoroughly. I had always had this niggling thought in the back of my head - I don't deserve what He did so I can't really accept it. But it just hit me that night that I can't change what has already been done. No amount of self-pity, self-loathing or whatever, will change the fact that it is done. It's completed...it's finished...and the only thing left for me to do is accept it. For myself.
This is how it feels to be free. :o)
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